Saturday, December 31, 2011

Wishy-Washy Pisces

Happy New Year 2012 to all my family and friends and to any of you who may happen upon my blog and be reading this. I wish you all the most blessed year and pray that God's will be done in your lives.

This is my first attempt at blogging and I'm not even sure where I intend to go with it. For those of you familiar with the signs of the Zodiac, let it be duly noted that I am a true Pisces through and through. Over the years I've read many different descriptions of Pisces but there is one adjective that I will never forget: wishy-washy.

That's not to say that I am wishy-washy by any means but in a broader sense it could cover the fact that I do like to have many irons in the fire at the same time. My hobbies are numerous and my projects many and varied (and certainly a number of them are incomplete). I may be all fired up to build a cat house (laugh if you will but I did literally build a house for my cat) and right in the middle of it have an idea for some quick and easy slip covers for some throw pillows. So I drop the cat house and start cutting and sewing. Eventually I complete both projects. Just call me a jack of all trades and master of none.

Having said that, I will go back to why I decided to start this blog and how I came up with the title "A Dreamer's Reality".

Another description of Pisces is "dreamer". Boy, does that hit the nail on the head. I have always been the dreamer. Trouble is, I've always had champagne taste and a beer budget. I've always been a true "romantic", too. Put those things together and you're bound for some serious reality checks along life's winding roads.

At fifty-one years old however, I've finally gotten it figured out. Well, sort of, anyway. I heard or read this quote somewhere and it pretty much says it all:

"Dreams can come true when the pain of staying the same exceeds the pain of change."

Think about those words carefully. You can spend your whole life dreaming about the perfect life, the perfect love, the perfect job, etc., etc., etc. In doing that you're also spending your whole life being let down, hurt, get the picture. It's painful. Staying the same is painful.

It's hard to change, though. Change can be painful, too. Change can be scary. Very scary!!! But there comes a point in time when we have to make a choice. Will we choose the pain of staying the same or the pain of change. Which is worse? Which is better? Most importantly, which will make us happier?

For me it was a no brainer. As much as I like my little comfort zone and don't care much for change I made the decision to put certain things behind me and move forward with a new perspective on life. The only way I could do that was to "change". Don't get me wrong. I didn't do it alone. With God's help I have come so far in the past year that I am truly excited to see what 2012 holds in store for me.

What did I do to change in 2011?
  • Stopped (or at least minimized) thinking about when or if I would ever find a man who loved me (failed marriages/romances are a subject for a later blog - maybe)
  • Became more active in my church: share teaching the adult Sunday School class with two other teachers; took a basic Lay Speaking class and have become more comfortable speaking in front of the church congregation; have "stepped out of the boat" and begun to sing a little (solo and duet with my daughter) at church;
  • Started spending more time reading/studying my Bible
  • Stopped watching so much TV and got back into reading
  • Have become more aware of other people's needs and less concerned about my "wants"
Those are but a few of the things I have been working on. I have found that by focusing on "Reality" instead of "Dreams" my life has become so much less stressful and so much more content. I've never been one to dwell on problems for any length of time and I've never been one to hold a grudge. When problems do arise I try to find the humor in them.

Example: Coming home from church one night recently with my daughter and grandchildren we ran through the drive through to grab some supper. I got a combo and made it a large to get a free Coke glass. (Yeah, cheesey, I know). Riding down the road I had my drink between my thighs and I guess I squeezed it a little to tight as I reached for something and the lid popped off and the drink spilled everywhere - all over my dress clothes and in my shoes. My daughter pulled over in a convenience store parking lot for me to wipe some of it off and as I started to get out of the truck I said, "Is everybody looking? Y'all need to see this." I proceeded to make a big production of holding up my foot, taking off my shoe and pouring Coke and ice out of my shoe. They got a really big laugh out of it. Later, my daughter said, "I kept waiting for you to get mad." In the past that is exactly what I would have done. What good would it have done to get mad? We all had a good laugh. The clothes got washed. No one was hurt. Find the humor...

The same goes for holding grudges. Don't. Just don't. The bible says to forgive. So forgive. I'm not perfect. You're not perfect. The person who hurt you isn't perfect. Forgive. I was so hurt and angry at my now ex-husband when he asked for a divorce. As much as I would have liked to seek revenge on him for the things he'd done, I could not. I knew in my heart that to do so would be wrong. We are now friends and I wouldn't hesitate to call on him if I needed something. If someone says or does something hurtful to you, forgive them. More often than not, they will come to regret it and they will punish themselves mentally for it. They need you to be their friend. They need to know you forgive them.

So, you see, this dreamer has realized that reality isn't so bad. Don't go thinking I have totally given up on dreaming because that would be both foolish and boring. It's just that I try to live in the real world instead of the dream world nowadays. I still hope to find true love again some day. But if I don't, well, I guess I just don't. And that's okay. God has plans for me, a purpose in this life. Maybe writing this blog is part of that journey he is sending me on. I guess we'll have to wait and see.

I plan to blog frequently about various things. After all, wishy-washy is as wishy-washy does. So, until next time, remember...

...the smallest act of obedience is greater than the best intentions!